by Karen Telleen-Lawton, Noozhawk Columnist, Read the original column at Noozhawk.com
In Fellowship Point, Alice Elliot Dark describes aging as “the letting go of one activity after the next, with no fanfare … just realizing later that the last time has come and gone.”
It may be as good an explanation as any, for why elders do what they do. They want to keep going.
I have two living parents, so of course I am not an elder myself. This column concerns people closer to my husband’s age: he’s nearly a year older. Nevertheless, I may slip occasionally into using “we” because all of us aspire to be elders eventually, considering the alternative.
For instance, why do some older adults wear those wraparound-type sunglasses? When the sun manages to burst out of June gloom, sunglasses are essential gear for Californians. They’re available in designer styles costing up to hundreds of dollars.
Wraparound eyewear, on the other hand, turns the fashion statement of beguiling sunglasses into the facade of a pied salamander.
After eye surgery, my doctor gifted me with my first wraparound pair for free. I was reticent to wear them out in public. Nevertheless, even the overcast day was too hard on my dilated pupils. Donning the wraparounds, my eyes relaxed behind their embracing shade. A year out from surgery, I still wear them on bright days.
Staying active is a major goal for seniors. Have you spotted one up on a ladder, trimming trees or changing a lightbulb? If so, you may have exclaimed, “Get down off that ladder! You’ll end up in the emergency room!”
I said a version of that recently to my laddered 93-year-old Dad as he trimmed a tree in their front yard. My mom, meanwhile, was wobbly and light-headed from stooping to pick up each twig and leaf he trimmed. Why? Whether we’re two or 102, every human wants to be useful.
Seniors sometimes interrupt. When they do, it may be because they haven’t heard you. If they did hear you, they may be interrupting because they have relevant experience to share. These elders tend to offer unsolicited opinions. They have a lot of experience, and you’re the beneficiary!
Other elders are more self-aware. The savviest versions have parlayed their experience into wisdom. They tend not to offer unsolicited opinions. Consequently, their opinions tend to be sought, which is a worthy goal.
Another goal of elders I know is enjoying family visits. There is something irreplaceable about participating — whether from the middle or the sidelines — in the growth of the next generation. So why are we also euphoric when family leaves?
This seeming contradiction is intuitively obvious. We understand vicarious enjoyment and we understand conservation of energy.
Seniors intentionally conserve energy for good use. We appreciate yoga and travel, dancing in the evening and wine at lunch: all because we can. Seniors also enjoy volunteering in many capacities — because we can.
We tell family stories because we want you to know them. We repeat the stories because we want you to internalize them while we still remember. And sometimes we forget you’ve heard them.
That reminds me: next time I’ll write a column on Why Elders Act Like They Do.
Karen Telleen-Lawton, Noozhawk Columnist
Karen Telleen-Lawton is an eco-writer, sharing information and insights about economics and ecology, finances and the environment. Having recently retired from financial planning and advising, she spends more time exploring the outdoors — and reading and writing about it. The opinions expressed are her own.